Friday, February 18, 2011

IN DISGUISE BY:Benjamin L. Panlilo

I know that I will get my heart broken again. I am not stupid, I'm in love. Well, that makes me pretty damn stupid anyways doesn't it?

I always trusted her, no one else but I did trust her. I get a feeling deep in my stomach when I feel as though something isn't right. My heart begins to race and I feel very sick. But she always assured me that I had nothing to worry about. Well I may as well me psychic because every time I get that feeling something is actually wrong. Cuddling, holding hands, talking all lovey dovey to someone else? Yes. And after that ordeal was over I discovered messages. Messages of her talking dirty with a different person, calling her pet names and all of that crap. And she always has a new excuse. The first girl she claimed she went along with it so that her friends wouldn't turn against her and the second girl she insisted she was using to make the first girl jealous and get her to back off. But neither of them should have gotten that far.

I know I'm screwed up; I love too much, wish too hard and trust way too easily. But after everything I have reluctantly forgiven her for, she accuses me of cheating on a regular basis. I trust too easily and she is incapable of trusting at all.

I hate love. It always seems to do more harm than good. I know she's going to leave me soon or break my heart far beyond any possible repair. If it weren't for me wanting nothing more in this world than to be with her then I wouldn't be facing my death sentence. Those eyes are evil; the devil's eyes in disguise. But it's too late; I'm in too deep. And this time I won't come out alive.

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